My Story #1 — Stay Positive and Help Each Other
These days, there are more bad news on the Internet and more divisive comments on social media. Some Chinese communities even start preparing for possible attacks from racists. I made a decision today: posting my real-life story in the past six years — a story of stopping complaints, challenging ourselves, staying positive in desperate times, and helping each other. I hope this can help you as well.
Six years ago, at the same time, I made my decision: change. I need some change, but I did not know what that was. Frustrated with my job, mixed with the inability to change my family life situation and the deteriorating pollution in Shanghai, I told myself I needed a significant change. Like many people who were confused in their life, career, relationship, or even dream, I could not find answer for myself.
In early May 2013, I told my IBM leader Alan that I decided to quit. He was my friend, and he asked me,
“What are you going to do with your career if you quit your job from IBM without income?”
That simple question scared me so much that I could feel my sweaters falling from my head to hip.
May 24th, 2013, I landed at San Francisco airport. It was my first time coming to the US. I worked and visited more than 30 countries, but it was my dream to visit the “dreamland” — USA before I died. The reason was pretty ridiculous — I was educated from a child that the USA is an evil country. My adventurous personality told me I should see it in person how corrupt the country was.
This trip changed my life.
I fell in love with this evil country after a 19-day trip visiting eight places. Nobody talked with me except a few conversations with strangers when I was traveling. I decided to study something completely new in a US university to refresh my mind. I chose psychology and immediately started an online program at the University of Phoenix.
The last day of 2013, I left IBM.
April 9th, 2014, one friend committed suicide, and I made my final decision to go to the US to study psychology as a profession.
March 2015, I got admission from Arizona State University, and that single news scared my friends. “He must be mad!” I knew how people might perceive me in China, considering a middle-aged, middle-class guy gives up everything for a degree in a different country.
I did not prepare well for the challenges ahead when some of my friends gave me warnings. I can still remember the shout and cry of my wife, Summie when we first visited ASU — It was 104 °F.
“Why you come to a desert for a degree?”
That’s the beginning of numerous fights between Summie and me. In the next half year, the number of arguments we had probably was ten times the total we had in the past ten years.
The Halloween of 2016, I founded HOOP (initially i-Lu) with Dr. Tracey, aiming to provide support for people who need it anywhere anytime. Startup is different than an established business, and I have much more challenges than many local guys — no business connection, and my English was way worse than today. We worked relentlessly until today, but it is not as successful as we imagined, and we ran out of cash. Worse, my family will run out of money soon.
In the past four years, at the anniversary of HOOP, Dr. Tracey and I joked, “this year will be tougher!” Unfortunately, it was true.
I did not planned to found HOOP in the USA.
I did not prepared that I could break my tendon, and I walked with crutches for seven months.
I did not expected that life could become so hard in 2020 when my company and I both run out of cash.
May our situation be worse? I have no answer.
However, looking back, I survived all kinds of challenges and crises, acquired two additional master’s degrees within three years, and I grew into a person with more confidence and smiles. What I have learned most is:
STAY POSITIVE AND HELP EACH OTHER.
In difficult times, it is human nature to start hatred, fights, and even wars. It is uncomfortable to provide empathy, and also support, to people who are different than us, but it is possible.
In my tough times in 2016, my neighbor Sean gave me a lot of help, even though our backgrounds are dramatically different. We became friends just because of drinking beer.
Last night, I had a short conversation with another neighbor Michael. He did not succeed in converting me into a Mormon, but we still keep a positive relationship — helping each other. Before we ended our conversation, I joked with him,
“Keep you and your family safe and healthy, and I will see you in one year.”
I don’t know how the situation will evolve, but I do know, based on research and my personal experience, if we stay positive and ask for help, there is a higher chance you can continue reading my story the same day next year.
STAY POSITIVE AND HELP EACH OTHER.
To be continued, by Jianhong Zhou (Phoenix), 3/23
